Also the proud owner of a mini-van

Email

Phone

Fell on the ice immediately after this video was taken
Email

Phone

He golfs better than you.
Email

Recently bought an ice cream maker

EDIT: He broke it

“I don’t usually smile for pictures”

Quite possibly the true brains of the operation here.

His hands are larger than most people’s faces.

Don’t ask him to prove it.

Mike has been in the plumbing industry for 30+ years.
Has since grown a mustache.

“CLEAN UP!”

Employee of the month several years running.

Finally delivered on a promise of deer meat.

Saffron’s Philosopher

Ayden has stared into the empty black and vapid maw of existence in a pan-dimensional state of enlightenment while on a journey of introspection. When presented with the opportunity of confronting life-itself with the ability to ask questions, Dr. Ayden stared in silence until the fibers that weave reality grew restless and asked him to explain his stoicism. Ayden remained emotionless. The cosmos shivered at his unwavering gaze. “What do you want?” asked the universe.

“I’ve wanted one answer my entire life,” said Ayden. “Nothing has eluded me more, and there’s no knowledge I thirst for aside from this.”

”Name your desire, great one.” The stars blinked.

”I need to know,” Ayden sighed as he closed his eyes. “I need to know what they put in Ling-Ling brand potsticker dipping sauce to make it so gosh darn tasty.”

Lives in a basement.
No, really.

EDIT: No longer lives in a basement, but still acts like someone who would.

Future inside sales/outside sales/purchasing agent/mayor of Salem/astronaut/tennis champion/theoretical physicist/CIA director